Dating 101 how to balance the power in your relationship
This in turn leads her into toxic rages or might cause her to act out by having an affair.
Because she was trained not to ask for what she needed, it never occurred to her to do so.
Understanding the signs of what some professionals refer to as Emotional Incest or Surrogate Spouse Syndrome can prevent life-long damage to the children who otherwise have no choice but to be there for their needy parent.
Here are a few signs that you may be leaning too heavily on your son or daughter: 1.
The child who was trained so well to anticipate the needs of its parent will, without awareness or intervention, carry this trait on into his or her adult relationships.
A daughter who later becomes a wife may suppress her own needs and not speak her own truth in her marriage.
This one lasted for a year but oh what an underwhelming relationship it was to cover from a media standpoint.
As the "only child" at home, my mother leaned on him heavily and, as so many lonely parents do, she turned him in to her surrogate husband.
After all, he had a wife and daughter who needed him at home.
Making a child the stand in for the spouse you lost, be it through divorce or death, is not unusual. From a Family Systems perspective, this dynamic makes perfect sense.
Meanwhile, she merely had to state what she needed and her husband would have responded positively.
A son may grow up with a pattern of setting himself up to be a doormat by doting on his partner who is only to happy to have a one-sided relationship.